The Husband Aaron posted this on facebook today I wish I had a credit for it but I don’t. I love this because it made so many things I think about every day in my head about my body image click in an instant.
When I lived in Kansas I was made fun of from first grade to my freshman year of high school for being fat. Then I decided I was done being made fun of for my body and clothes and enrolled in a boarding arts school. Things were not perfect (for instance many of the dancers had eating disorders) but at least everyone dressed uniquely. I met a lot of awesome people and stopped feeling bad about being picked on in Kansas because it forced me to find another option which led me to so many awesome people.
When I went to New York University and the Stella Adler Conservatory it was a different story. I was told by so many teachers that I was so talented but I just needed to loose 5 pounds. When I lost 5 pounds I was told I needed to lose just a little more. This kept going on until I developed an eating disorder. Then I was really thin and guess what… my teachers said I was really talented but I just needed to gain some more weight because I looked too frail. I wonder how that happened? The only real lesson I learned in college is that you can never make everyone happy so you should just focus on making yourself happy.
Eventually, I found treatment for my eating disorder and recovered. It took a lot of work. Part of my program had me meet with a nutritionist. I found out that before I had the eating disorder I wasn’t eating very healthy either. For example, I wasn’t getting enough water or fruits and vegetables. She also let me know that I probably shouldn’t eat fried fast food for every meal which was shocking to me!
When I took the nutritionist’s advice I actually turned out to be a size 8 or 10 ,depending on the designer, which was smaller than I was when I first enrolled at NYU. I found that if I just focused on nutrition as opposed to being thin I looked really hot and felt better. This actually made me a little sad though. If my teachers had just talked to me about being healthy or I was taught nutrition in school maybe this whole thing could have been avoided. Instead, I was just told loose weight and I did but because I was young and uneducated in nutrition I did it in a way that was bad for my body and actually made me hate myself.
Now I am back to a size 10 after having the baby. During the pregnancy I tried to not focus on how much weight I gained but instead to focus on nutrition. This resulted in me gaining 100 pounds… that is not a typo. Once I had the baby I was nervous about how I looked but instead of going on a crash diet I decided to focus on nutrition again and I was able to loose the baby weight. Now is my baby perfect and look the same way it did before the baby.? NO… I have stretch marks, my feet are bigger than before, and my stomach is nowhere near as tight or flat as it once was. But, I feel good and I am happy with myself and honestly I think that’s what makes people attractive because I get way more compliments now than when I was a starving size zero.
So when I saw this on facebook today it really hit me because as a child I always wanted to be glamorous like Elizabeth Taylor. I actually have the same birthday as her and was very sad when she passed. Even when I was surviving on celery sticks I still wanted watched her movies and dreamed of being just as fab as her… so why did i starve myself and try to look like the exact opposite of her? I will never know exactly what snapped in my head when I decided to have an eating disorder but I am actually glad it happened because I came out of it tougher and way healthier.
So no matter what size you are you should be confident in yourself and not try to change your body type because there is only so much you can change about your body and the real thing that makes people sexy is their personality and confidence. Also, i don’t want people to think everyone should be curvy like Marilyn Monroe. At the same time she was popular Audrey Hepburn was also huge and she was very thin and petite. I just want to encourage my readers to be confident in themselves because if you don’t love yourself how can you expect anyone else to?